Memorial Day. One of the most celebrated U.S holidays, yet it can be a somber day for many.  This special day honors those who have given their lives fighting for our country, and for those that have lost a loved one due to their service, the sorrow is amplified on Memorial Day. 

It was almost 13 years ago that my life took a pivotal turn. That one fateful day as a Special Forces A-Team Commander where one mission turned into the most difficult day of my life. The instant explosion of a 400-pound bomb cost the lives of four of my men. My team member Pedro Solis and his dog, Gulliver, pulled me to safety while my fellow Green Berets were in a gunfight trying to secure our vehicles and prevent more damage, and render aid to the wounded. We lost SFC Bradley S. Bohle , SFC Shawn P. McCloskey, SSG Joshua M. Mills, and our Afghan interpreter, Razul. These men were sons, brothers, fathers, and husbands and they all lost their lives serving their country honorably. Their families experienced the toughest loss a loved one can endure, and they will never be forgotten.  

After the attack, I was struggling and my mindset was rapidly deteriorating. The emotional trauma I had faced was far greater than the physical trauma. The guilt, the pain, the wearisomeness I felt for the families of my brothers-in-arms. For the longest time, I had wished and prayed that it should’ve been me instead of them. My survivor’s guilt and personal grapple with grief impacted my daily life. Basic everyday activities became a challenge and depression rooted itself deep inside me. It was difficult to deal with until one day it hit me. I needed to look tragedy in the face and rise above it. I could not change what happened, but I could change how it impacted my life, moving forward.

Since I can’t change the outcome of that attack, it was my duty to honor them the best way I knew how. I needed to commemorate my men through action and face my struggles head-on and live the best life I possibly could for them. The epiphany I had is one that I encourage all of you to follow this Memorial Day. The greatest way to appreciate fallen soldiers is to show a life of gratitude and pay it forward. So many have given their lives for a purpose greater than themselves - freedom. We truly are blessed to be free to live in a land where when adversity arises, if we charge on regardless of the height of the hill, anything is possible. That mission has become my best source of healing and has helped me reach the light at the end of my dark tunnel. And while I still face my challenges every day, the honor I give now not only eases my grief but gives me motivation.

The pain of loss is one that does not go away over time. The emotional effects leave a lasting presence, with the weight of grief lingering. Losing a loved one is a sacrifice that no one can understand and one that I would not wish on anybody. Yet, amidst all of the devastation, we can still find ways to positively honor their memories.

Memorial Day is a day that often goes misunderstood by many. While there are those who see today as a day of celebration, we often forget this day should be a time of remembrance instead. There are so many in our country that have been personally affected by the loss of a War Fighter. And for any Veterans, active-duty Military, Gold Star families, or anybody that has lost loved ones in combat, we hope this message can help guide you in your journey towards healing.

Moving forward, let’s use Memorial Day to not only honor and remember those who are no longer with us, but also send ourselves into action to improve our lives! Go out there and WIN! Let us continue to push forward and live our lives for those who can’t anymore. Anything less than that is an opportunity missed. It wasn't until I realized that the best thing I can do to honor those that gave their lives defending this wonderful country we so love, was for me to go live the most amazing life that is humanly possible.

Active-duty, Veterans, and Retired Military Members, take today to memorialize the ones we’ve lost and continue to fight with pride and strength. Know that you’re always fighting for a higher purpose - democracy and freedom.

To our Gold Star families, I want to take this time to give my sincerest condolences for your loss. Your loved ones have given the ultimate sacrifice and while we can never understand the pain you have gone through, you will always have our utmost appreciation and respect.

To the Citizens of our Great Country, let us be forever grateful for those who go and fight for our continued freedom. Their courage and dedication should continue to inspire us to always live life to the fullest.

Today is the day to also remember the families of those that have lost their lives. For many, Memorial Day is just one day, however, for those affected the most, they experience it every day. On this Memorial Day from my heart to yours, we appreciate the service and sacrifice of those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice and remain committed to their honor and the families in which they have left behind.